Monday, 8 March 2010

secret number one # i feel out of place every single day

im sick of you telling me about how crap your life is when you don't even understand or let me tell you how shit im feeling, you have friends i don't at the moment, i have nobody at school and the only place i feel alone and happy is at the gym on my own.
i cant fit in.

im one of those people that just is trying now, to fit in.

im not even being myself.

i need money

i need friends

i have neither of those things

i feel like all i need to do is blog, seen as thats what carrie bradshaw does, and she has some perfect ass life. oh come on becca its fiction i think thats the correct word anyway, but she has 3 amazing friends, shes a talented writer. shes gorgeous, she has a walk in closet bigger than my house. She has atleast a few guys after her and a wonderful loaded husband. i wish i turned out like that, something lucky and perfect and a little bit confusing.
i just want to talk to you again, because nobody else fucking listens, but i havent really got a problem that doesnt sound pathetic and needy
the pain reduces throughout the day, i learn to live with the fact your not going to talk to me..and that im never going to be included and that i have to pretend im okay all the time. well i better go clean my room now. im really annoyed cos ive had like 3 coldsores in a month and there leaving scars. fml.

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